It’s going to happen, it’s only a matter of time. You know it will because the tension is too tight and the resistance can only handle so much. Like a rubber band being stretched to its limit, eventually it snaps. But you hold on tightly, even though you’re afraid, and pray that it will stay together because when it finally snaps back, that strike will sting, and hurt real bad.
That’s how I feel, ready to snap, again. It’s happened before, so I know the signs. I’m susceptible and there is nothing I can do to control it. The funny thing is that unlike a rubber band being stretched no one seems to even notice that I’m being stretched to my limits. When it finally happens, I suspect people will be caught by surprise and mystified.
On the surface, everything appears as it should. I maintain a decent job and play the good role of the “wife”. Almost robotic, running on autopilot, I carry out each day, week, month, and subsequently years according to plan. Like a soldier, one who follows the chain of command and completes the assigned mission. A walking and talking zombie, unplugged from emotions because the nastiness that dwells deep within, is unacceptable. Those emotions are hard to suppress, some days more so than others. They constantly push at me, threaten to surface and take over.
Today, I feel overpowered, and want to let those feelings loose to see what happens, and what I’m capable of. I doubt I’ll have any pity for those who surround me. When the time comes, and it will come, they will be sorry. I will receive satisfaction in hearing their cries as they beg and plead for their life, and their prayers go unanswered because I will embrace the monster that I know lurks inside of me and together as one, we will be strong enough to overcome any obstacles to carry out another critical mission, to take back the life that was lost, to win. They will see, I will teach them a lesson not to take anything for granted, especially me.